A Bus Ride

Copy + Paste
from my friend Denise @ denise.li

Once we're already talking about buses, I found this story that happened to my friend Denise Niedermann, Swiss-German, a few days ago. She didn't leave out a single detail in her story, and you be able to see the Swiss precision at the chronology of facts.

- Ctrl+v

Hard to believe, but this story is true!

10.35 pm today: Accompanied by a friend, I’m waiting for the bus.

10.40 The bus arrives, I get in. Bus driver: "I’m going to UBC. Where are you going?" Me:"I’m going to UBC too". Bus driver: "Fine, that makes things much easier to me. So we can go there together. I’m leaving in about two minutes. You can go and wait outside (my friend is still there). I won’t drive without you". I get off, bus driver stretches his legs and talks to me and my friend.

10.42 Bus driver, me and 8 other people get in

10.43 Three women ask the bus driver, where bus #4 would stop. For the next 1o minutes, the bus driver explains where to go and that they better would take another bus in order to reach their destination

10.53 Bus driver into the micro: "Hi folks. My name is Frank and I’m your bus driver for tonight. Frankly, I have no idea why my parents chose that name, but my name is Frank".

10.57 Bus driver into the micro, no bus stop in sight: "See this girls outside screaming and running? I bet they couldn’t find the bus stop. Give them a warm applause when they get in." Girls get in, passengers clap.

11.00 Bus driver, while crossing Granville Bridge: "lovely scenario on the right side of the bus. Please don’t jump off the bus to take your pictures"

11.05 Broadway&Granville. Two teenagers ask the bus driver how to get to Jericho Beach. Bus driver: "Hey guys, does anyone know how to get to Jericho Beach?" Several proposal from passengers. Large discussion about the best solution. 5min later, they agree on taking number 4

11.11 Bus driver: "There is a micro in front of the bus. Who would like to sing something for me?"-laughs. "Don’t be shy, there is only an inside, no outside of the bus"

11.12 I miss my bus stop because I’m so fascinated by this ride…

Cê sab ses onz pass Savassi*

Translation Belorizontês > English: Do you know if that bus goes to Savassi?



You know, it doesn't go that far, but wouldn't it be nice if it did? Looking with some good will we can almost see it in front of the Belo Horizonte's Municipal Park at Afonso Pena Avenue, can't we?

If there's one thing that I really like about Vancouver is the public transportation. Bus, SeaBus and SkyTrain. I wish I could take some Translink's traffic engineers, send the poor bastards to Sao Paulo and say: let's see if you guys are that good. Not only to SP, but any major city em Brazil, such as Rio, BH and Brasilia. But you see, to send them to Sao Paulo would be the ultimate prank - Sao Paulo's traffic jam is around 160 to 200 km every day - and this is a let's-make-fun-of-Canadians blog, even when we recognize a ob well done.

But the fact is, the public transportation system works. Even when it "doesn't", at a spoiled Canadian point of view, it does: "Oh my God! Where is this f**king bus! It's two minutes late!" - said the disbelieving Canadian. "Only two?!" - answer loudly the also disbelieving Brazilian.

P.S.: The one in the photo is te one a take everyday to school: 16 - Arbutus > 29th Avenue Station.

StarHortonBlenz

It wasn't my intention to bring this up right now, but once the subject broke into the last post, let's do it.

Raised in Belo Horizonte, the world capital of pubs, barrooms and related, I'm used, since a young breed, to see one of those noble enterprises at each street corner. It doesn't seems akward to me to find bakeries and pharmacies side-by-side in every Brazilian city's blocks.

But here, they love their Coffee. StarHortonBlenz (SHB) is a Frankenstein created by the fusion of Starbucks, Tim Hortons e Blenz. Walk arround Downtown Vancouver without stumble in one of those is pratically impossible. If you stop anywhere in Downtown and, as a gazell would do it perform a Pirouette Arabesque, at some point of the spin you'll find yourself facing a SHB.

|| Pause.
For those, who just like me, have no idea of what is a Pirouette Arabesque, the definition:
A pirouette is a especial spin, usually related with ballet. A arabesque is when you lift your leg 90˚behind you. A pirouette arabesque is a mix of both. It is, by itself, a surreal scene that I had the misfortune of seen in my second day in Vancouver. Now imagine a bearded 200lbs dude, wearing a Hell's Angels leather jacket, ballerina skirt, ballerina socks and soldier's boots doing it at the corner of Burrard and Alberni.
> Play.

Where was I? Oh... yes. The SHB and its Coffees. Yeah, they're everywhere.

Oh, but we Brazilians love coffee too, don't we? They don't. When I referred to the product sold here as Coffee, italic, i wasn't trying to make it look cool. I was trying to separate what they sell here from real coffee. Not this tea.

The easiest way out is to order the Expresso. Grazie Italia! But even then, don't expect more than some strong black tea. Francesco, a italian-Canadian PLI teacher, told me that I'll be able to find some really good coffee at some places on Commercial Drive. I have to check it.

Until then, does anyone know where can I find a StarHortonBlenz nearby?

Raincouver, BC, Canada

Vancouver, Raincouver. Come on... Don't make me explain what is already obvious. Anyway, just in case we have some reader with a hair as golden as a wheat field, and 'cause it's not a big deal for me to write a few more lines on Van's weather, here we go. Another reason is that, according to Ken, my WPP teacher, there is no better way to start a conversation with a stranger in the streets on Vancouver.

Arrived at the YVR and want to star a conversation with a Van-person at the StarHortonBlenz¹ line? Just start to talk about the weather. They love it. They're usually complaining, but i don't blame them: it's just too much water. Apparently the statistic rules here have been changed to fit the Van City forecast style: if they say that the P.O.P (Probability of Precipitation) is 20%, they mean that it's 120%. The 0% is actually 100%. Of course that i doesn't rain every 365(6) days of the year, but if they say that there is a slight chance of rain, you better wear your boots, close up the raincoat and take an umbrella with you, just in case. No, don't expect a tropical rain, because we're not in the tropics. The rain here comes in homeopathic doses.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to put my hands in some data on the audience share in Vancouver, but judging by the pre-disposition of the local population in "weather conversations", The Weather Channel is probably the #1 broadcaster in Vancouver. While in Brazil there is no football² match before the end of the 9pm soap opera, here there's nothing before the 9pm meteorologic forecast.
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¹ This topic deserve a post of its own. Coming soon.
² It is football, people, not soccer. Ask the Queen.

What the hell is this?!

Starting.

Eu sou, I mean, I am Henrique Pinheiro. Born in Belo Horizonte, capital of the beautiful state of Minas Gerais, Brazil, 28 y.o., fan of the Mighty Bunnies (don't laugh), graphic designer and spending some time in Vancouver, Canada, in order to actually use my English language that so far had only been used in the absence of sub titles on screen and/or the SAP key on the remote control.


But, although, however, in the meantime, I was a little bit afraid that after 24 weeks abroad I could forget how to speak Portuguese, pouvez-vous comprendre? Capice?

So, I thought: why don't I keep a blog where, besides the preservation of my Portuguese-speaking heritage, I'll also have the chance of register my experiences and impressions? Perfect. Then the "Lado B" was born. But after hundreds and hundreds of emails - none - from the non-Portuguese-speakers people avid for my texts in English, I realized that it could be also a great chance of improve my English writing skills. Two times perfect.

"But A Side?" - may ask the prying reader. I'll explain, JohnnyEZ-O¹! Lado B in Portuguese means B Side, like those in the old LPs². So, what complete B Side is... come on... you can do it... YES! A Side.

A Side also provides "a side" of the story. My side, my point of view, with a Brazilian sense of humor, which, by the way, may be considered a little bit acid. Or sarcastic. Or cheesy. Or clever. Or raunchy. Or all of it. Or neither. It doesn't matter. In this little piece of cyber-land, I'm the one pulling the strings, so you can relax and have fun or leave and never come back.

So do whatever you please, but just don't take it personal, because that's not the point here. And if you don't find the jokes funny, you can always laugh on my Tarzanic-English writing style. =)

P.S.: Talking about a Tarzanic-English, any review on my grammar, spelling and general mistakes are more than welcome. English is not my first language. - Who am I trying to kid, I can't even write in my own language... =p
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¹ A JohnnyEZ-O can be anyone. Kind of my personal way of saying John Doe.
² If you're born after 1980s, click here.